Start With These Tips

• Make sure people who interact with your loved one have training in dementia care.
  Many organizations will tell you that their staff is trained in dementia care, but often the staff just received a one-hour video training. Ask the agency and any staff to describe the training they have received and discuss with you what they have learned.

• Hire help as early as possible.
  Rather than waiting until dementia has progressed for years and the person really needs 24/7 care, start hiring people to help around the house early, even if it is just for a few hours a week. This way the person with dementia gets used to having help at a time when they may be more willing to have help or when their brain can understand the need for help. Consider hiring someone to clean the house once a month, or get groceries delivered periodically. The more routine it becomes to have non-family and friends helping, the easier it is later on when more care is needed.

• Introduce new people into the environment slowly.
  Rather than having a hired care partner come in and start helping with bathing and dressing, have a few weeks of visits where they come in and do an activity with your loved one or have a snack together.

• Use memory supports to help create relationships.
  Hired care partners are new and can be hard for people to remember. Consider taking a photo of the care partner and the person with dementia together and write the care partner’s name underneath the photo with a brief explanation about why they are in the home.

• Try to be empathetic.
  If your loved one does not want help or believes they do not need it, try to understand the emotions behind the reaction. Having help may make them feel like we are taking away their personal control. Have a conversation about how the hired care partner is not only for your loved one but for you as well. Mention how you all need help sometimes and how you would feel a lot better if you got help that you needed. Also let them know that you don’t want to take away their independence or autonomy and that any care partner hired will need to also be someone who helps your loved one be as independent and successful as possible.

• Observe the new care partner and look for these signs of positive interactions:
  • Speaking clearly and slowly and not yelling.
  • Approaching the person from the front.
  • Always letting the person know what they are doing before they do it such as, “I am going to help you get up from your chair now, may I take your hand?”
  • Showing your loved one how to do something rather than taking tasks away from them.
  • No arguing or confrontation.
  • Engaging your loved one throughout the day rather than letting your loved one sit in front of the TV or lie in bed for long periods of time.
  • Not trying to prove that what your loved one feels or thinks is wrong, even if it is technically inaccurate.